Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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