I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
