Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
