Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize