So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
