Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

Barsexuality is the new black.

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(903): View more from Texas

Your vagain smells worse when im sober.

(903): View more from Texas

sorry, worng number

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(951): View more from California

My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?

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(205): View more from Alabama

Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix

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(276): View more from Virginia

I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest

(604): View more from British Columbia

We've made things harder for ourselves

(778): View more from British Columbia

The struggle will be part of the fun

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(650): View more from California

Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them

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