using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
