Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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