His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
