9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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