lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
