New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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