Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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