what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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