You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think i got beer on your cat.
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