I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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