I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
