i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
