Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
