Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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