I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
