Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
