he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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