Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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