Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize
