Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
