If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
