apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
