And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
