what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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