I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize