I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
