Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
babies were throwing up all over the place
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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