she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize