he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's Friday. Sex?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
