Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
