just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
