"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize