having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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