Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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