We're facebook friends in real life
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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