I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
