so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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