he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
