you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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