also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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