guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You've changed since you got that strap on
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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