Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
