he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I FOUND THE LEGS
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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