I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
