so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
