plz talk dirty to me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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