I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
