so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
