I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I wish you could order shots online.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
