If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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