sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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