i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
