Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
