did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
